argh! this is an entry of desperateness.
i just dun see the meaning of living on this earth anymore.
it sounds weird. but it makes sense.
i dun see wad can make me continue living on this earth or wad else is memorable over here.
frens? family? passion? studies?
definitely not studies.
studying sucks.
sometimes i just hope i can stop studying and GET OUT OF SCH.
i just wanna do sth i wanna do.
i have big dreams. I DO. dun say i dun.
but i just needa courage. i need lots of it.
but it's just not realistic. is this wad u mean by ambitions dun always work out thks to the HARSH reality?
can i stop studying? can i dun have a degree? can i just do wad i like to do?
maybe pple will say i will spend my whole day playing snooker or pool.
maybe? it gives me confidence. shows me who i am. but i wanna do sth big to prove myself to myself. not to anyone.
frens?
frens? frens? frens?
yea. i have frens. i am not exactly anti social.
but sometimes, i just think i dun deserve the irrespect pple give me.
frens are frens. close frens are close frens.
i have my close frens. i cherish them. i dun raise objections or show anger normally.
but i have my temper. maybe one day i will die of bottling them up.
oh well. anyway i really feel disappearing frm this world is better.
maybe where mummy's is IS better?
frens. i am confused with the definition of frens.
frens are pple who r there when u need them most.
yea. i have pple who r there for me. thk u. =)
passion. snooker pool?
wad is passion when u keep ruining it urself
when u are not ur best?
passion = u r happy when u are at it.
yea. i am happy when i play snooker or pool.
but i dun like myself when i am playing snooker or pool
maybe cos it reveals too much of myself.
or maybe i have hidden too much.
i am a bitch when i reveal EVERYTHING.
u'll just nvr wanna know.
family? maybe it's the only thing tt i am continue living on this earth.
i am just sick of everything. can't the world be nicer? or maybe some shld say. maybe mel shld grow up. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD. COME ON! FACE IT! ok then
WHATEVER!
signing off
12:18 PM