happy 1st anniversary mummy...
Monday, August 25, 2008
the day u left us. 25th Aug 2007, 4.37am.finally unable to take the pain, with everyone of us behind u, holding your hands.
and eventually. as u told me. u will go when u cannot take the pain.
and so did u. and i was glad. at least u went away peacefully, and not painfully.
and frm tt second on, i knew life was different.
i remembered taking the whole morning off to settle many many things.
despite the grief, much still has to be done.
and emotions did not have the time to overcome me.
tiredness was taking over and i slpt as soon as i reached home.
kong could not slp and she wondered how i could.
but no one knew. as i woke up and brushed my teeth, i saw my face turning red. i saw tears rolling down.
i could not control anything tt was happening.
maybe tt's wad u mean as overcomed by grief.
i was so busy with stuff so much so tt when i finally had time to myself, the real emotions came.
i remembered crying on my birthday, giving a rememberance of u during ur funeral.
it was painful. i nvr knew i could be so weak.
i tot i could control my emotions but still. i was overcomed by it.
pple really do not realise wad they have until they have lost it.
we lost more than a mummy.
it was obvious.
i lost a pillar of support, a person to depend on and a friend.
and we, u left behind still bear a scar somewhere deep there.
u are being mentioned. but while u are being mentioned, tears flow. memories appear. a stinging pain starts to hurt.
but on top of all these.
this 1 yr, we have missed u, talked bout u and joked about u.
but we are happily living together and we know u'll be here. =)
i love u mummy.
(say happy birthday to me again. this time, in my dreams. I LOVE U )
signing off
9:23 PM